An Obligatory New Year’s Post

It’s time once again (though I’m a bit late already) to reevaluate what I have done in 2014 and plan what I want to accomplish this year.

To be honest, I cannot remember my resolution last year. I think it was “to make 2014 my best year ever,” because that didn’t really happen. I’m sorry, guys, but last year was a bust for me.

For the first time in a long time I welcomed 2014 with so much optimism and hopes for a great year. Of course, I even did my best to make it work. Unfortunately,  these things happened:

  1. This person whom I thought was one of my two best friends ruined my trust (and stole almost all of my life savings!);
  2. I did not get to see my SO, not because he doesn’t want to but because of outside forces (my parents, the person I’m referring to in #1, my SO’s school, to mention a few); and,
  3. When I changed jobs, I (in hindsight) seem to have jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. Oh well, #noregrets.

(Hm…I thought I have more things to complain about, but it looks like these three cost me so much stress and anxiety I felt the world’s weight on my shoulders.)

I know this is not an ideal new year’s post. I know we’re supposed to write about something nice, something filled with hopes and dreams, something made of unicorns and rainbows, but I have to be honest with everyone and with myself. If I denied what happened, I wouldn’t have learned a couple of lessons, like–

If I want to get something done, I have to do it myself. Too many people have disappointed me by promising me things they cannot give, so I must rely on myself more;

and,

I must remember the Serenity Prayer by heart. This may be a little religious, but I believe that the message this short prayer brings applies to everyone.

As for 2015, I plan to go through it still with a little optimism, but I also want to be more cautious. Last year my belief that I was so lucky (I was trying to practice what I read from “The Secret”) led me to making reckless decisions and mistakes that I could have easily avoided. So no more of that in 2015. Aside from that, I have also made the following goals:

  1. Learn to be more passive. I have a strong personality, which got me in trouble at work a few times. While I can already control this part, I am still too transparent that everyone can see if I’m happy or upset about something. According to my co-worker, one way to be more passive is to “smile like an idiot” no matter what. She also advised me to write down stuff I want to say while I am emotional, and then either trash it or edit it so that I can communicate what I want to say in a calm and rational manner.
  2. Spend less on what I want and more on what I need. Even though this is obvious, last year I spent more on gadgets that I don’t really need instead of things that are important. Last month alone, I bought this pair of headphones (only because it’s pink) that costs around $100 when I could have used that same amount of money to buy new clothes or shoes for work. This year, I will change this so that I would look more professional at work or, as my dad says, “presentable” when I go out.
  3. Lose 52 lbs. this year, or 1 lb. each week. I have been trying to lose weight for several years now, but I kept failing because I aimed too high and then quit when I got discouraged from trying and failing. Just like when learning a new habit, I believe that losing weight (and maintaining it) needs to be done slowly, deliberately, and consistently. This way, it will be easier for me to accomplish my goal, and if ever I fall off track it will also be easy for me to get back up. With this in mind, I will also continue going through the “7 Baby Steps To Losing Weight” I posted a while back. Right now I am in step 3, controlling my portions, which happens to be one of my biggest obstacles to consistently lose weight.
  4. Keep A Mozzarella Orange active. You may have noticed that I didn’t post here regularly last year. To be honest, I lost the will to write. The stress I got from work every day and my perfectionism hindered me from thinking of something–not even something good. I came home every day too tired to come up with anything. To be honest, I still experience it too. However,  I need to develop self-discipline, and I believe that blogging will help me in this department. I’ll just publish one post a week, a quick win like this, and I know I can do anything I set my mind to.

If you set resolutions for yourself as well, good luck, and I hope to see what you come up with (or run into) in the days ahead!

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