Taking Back My Corner on the Internet

A while back, I first posted what my blog title and tagline mean. I always wanted my blog to be a bank of my reflections, a space where I can express myself without being interrupted, which is always the case whenever I talk with somebody (except for my SO, who seems to wait for a few seconds after I stop talking before he replies, which I find endearing).

However, one big obstacle in running a personal blog is how to make it appealing to others while still using your own experience and thoughts as fodder for your posts. I mean, this is no longer the early 2000s when online journaling was popular and everybody was interested in what everybody is up to. Now, the Internet has spared a small percentage of bloggers who can still pull this off; the rest of us now seek our audience on Twitter and Facebook. I, however, am staying in WordPress, where there are many personal bloggers who are doing well.

Another thing I’m struggling with, though, is accepting my story, all the decisions I made, and all the events I’ve encountered that led me to who I am and where I am today. Because here’s one big disclaimer: my life is boring. I know this fact and I am trying to accept it, and I also know how this came to be. So why am I still adamant about putting up a personal blog, when I can barely find time to write and I don’t even have a good enough topic to write about? Well, I have one reason:

My life is not over. I don’t think it has even begun yet. I am in my 20s, I should have more control over my life by now. I have the power to make it more interesting. And I thought writing about my journey towards interestingness can resonate to those who also feel stuck. This may be my writing space, but I am hoping to be read and to engage in conversation with other people, too.

I hope you join me on this venture and share your thoughts on whatever I post, even if it’s bad–even if it’s so terrible that your comment might make me quit blogging for good. I promise I will make this worthwhile.

Let me hear your story

What made you start blogging? How long ago was it? Do your motivations back then still drive you to keep your blog alive?

Mid-Year Performance: How Are Your New Year’s Resolutions Going?

Mid-Year Performance

In my Obligatory New Year’s Post, I resolved to lose weight as well as keep this blog active. Unfortunately, I neglected both goals for the past 3 months. Ever since I got a new job as a writer/web content manager in which I work an average of 60 hours a week, I had a hard time keeping up with my blogging habits and fitness routine. I also stopped being mindful of what I eat and have been binging on a lot of food. Because of this, I gained even more weight.

However, I am not giving up. I still have 6 more months to get fit, and I have tons of ideas for this blog that I do not want to let go of. I actually spent several weeks planning what’s next for my goals, but I forgot all of them when I read a post on /r/getdisciplined about setting a goal and forgetting about it, which I will talk about in my next post. Hopefully, by the end of the month, I’ll be used to blogging again (particularly with blogging using my iPad, like I’m doing now) that I will revive my other segments such as Motivation Monday. Let this be my “mid-year resolution”, though I am getting tired of making such stuff at this point.

How about you: Did you make any new year’s resolution for 2015? Are you still keeping them? Do you even remember what they were? Let me know in the comments, I would love to hear from you!

The Sins I Have and Haven’t Committed

"Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto." - David SedarisI just had a bad week. I fell short on my two main commitments: blogging and weight loss. Not only did I only work out twice this week instead of my minimum target of 3, I also over-ate for a few days. And then, AND THEN, I was not able to finish what I was originally publishing for today, which was the second part to last week’s post. I have tried to write it since last Monday, but I don’t know…I think I’m losing my drive again. And I’m so scared of this because if I fall I don’t know how long before I get the courage to get back up. I don’t want to fall. I don’t want to have to start over and over and over.

I’m not entirely sure how the image above (with a quote I received from Goodreads‘ newsletter) relates to what I’m writing now, because I definitely have committed a lot of “sins” this week. This picture was also supposed to be in the post I was planning to publish today because (Spoiler alert!) it ties together what I have wanted to say for weeks now.

But anyway, I hope that you have had no regrets this week–that you have no “sins” that you wish you committed. But if you have any regrets, learn to forgive yourself. That’s what I’m doing. Tomorrow, Sunday, is a new day and the start of a new week. Tomorrow I will continue what I started–Week 1, Day 3 of my C25K challenge, my diet, and keeping this blog active–and at the same time starting over with a new determination. I hope you will do the same.

NEW Meta Monday – February 2015: A Mozzarella Orange v2.0

We are already into the 2nd month of 2015–time sure flies fast! I made a promise to myself (and you guys) that I will post more regularly, and even though I am still struggling with this, I believe that things are looking up and soon you will see more of me and my writings on your Reader and/or in your email.

To show that I am taking this blogging thing more seriously, I made some major updates for AMO, which I would like to geek out about in this new themed post called “Meta Monday”–

New theme: Penscratch

I chose Penscratch as my new theme because it’s minimalist, which gives me a lot of room for customization. Of course, I started taking advantage of this by putting my first custom header everrr.


I created the header in Adobe Photoshop, following the header dimensions specified in the Custom Design page. I got the fonts from dafont.com, which offers a lot of free fonts for personal/non-commercial use.  As for the orange and pink backgrounds, I used one of the default brushes and veeerrryyy carefully slid it across the letters. Guess how many times I did that before getting satisfied with the results? Wrong. Just kidding, I actually didn’t count.

About page

I remember impossiblebebong once looked for my About page and wondered where it is, and I admitted that I haven’t made one yet. See what kind of a blogger I am? This part of any profile is the most difficult for me to fill out. Even in my social media accounts like Facebook, I actually left “About me” blank. However, a blog needs to have a page that explains what it is and who’s updating it, so I finally created one. I looked at several blogs’ About pages for inspiration and this is what I came up with. Let me know what you think.

Widgety Widgets

I also updated my widgets that I thought would suit the current state of this blog. These include:

  • Disclaimer – Sometimes, my opinions may ruffle some feathers. Of course, the actual disclaimer paragraph sounded too serious, so I put up a silly version instead, which I found here.
  • Subscribe/follow button – When you click this, you can receive my new posts via email or see them on your Reader, you know, in case you find my blog interesting enough.
  • Archives – So you can go through ALL my posts from the beginning. No idea why you’d want to do that, though.
  • Tag cloud (which doesn’t look like a cloud at all) – In case you want to see what I usually blog about.
  • My Twitter posts – I deleted my old account a few months back, which I regret now. However, as part of the big plan I have for this blog, I decided to make a new one and am trying to post regularly there as well. Follow my feed if you find them interesting, and I promise I’ll follow yours back.
  • Blogs I follow – I am continuously discovering and following blogs on WordPress and I thought I should showcase them so my readers can check them out as well.

New posting frequency and more

Before, I only aimed to publish once a week on a Saturday. But starting February I will post once or twice a week–specifically every Monday and Saturday. And as part of the greater scheme of things, posts on these days will be under a different theme–which I have put up in the menu on top as categories, as follows:

  • Storytelling Saturdays – This is when I will publish posts that usually contain around 1,000 words that would look like a journal entry or my responses to writing prompts or writing challenges.
  • Meta Mondays – I will publish posts just like this one every first Monday of the month to share some of the site’s new features I want to bring to your attention as well as a roundup of the previous months’ posts you may have missed.

Posts you may have missed

Last month, I published 1 aside post and 3 standard posts. While I only put up the aside post to greet everyone a happy new year and explain my absence, I was able to share long posts that were published on a Saturday or Sunday (here in the Philippines, at least). These are:

An Obligatory New Year’s Post – In which I shared what I learned in 2014 and what I resolve to be/do this year, including my promise to make this blog more active.

Daddy Dearest – Inspired by one of caseyalexander’s blog posts, I shared an old travel article I wrote for my feature writing class in college.

What I Wanted To Be When I Grow Up vs. What I Am Now As A Grown Up – My most recent post, it is actually the first part of a series I am writing about my career aspirations.

I also republished an old blog post from January last year that used to be private. It’s funny and frustrating how I can’t remain consistent. First I warned that I’ll be writing a lot about my SO, then I said I will avoid writing about him, and yet I still managed to publish a couple of posts about him (1, 2). Well I’m not sorry, this is my personal blog after all, but I still maintain my promise to not make my writings all about him. That’s what secret diaries are for.

IT’S YOUR TURN TO SHARE: What recent change(s) did you make on your blog that you are excited/happy/satisfied about? What blog post did you publish last month that you are most proud of?

Daddy Dearest

I was catching up on my favorite bloggers when I came upon Casey Alexander’s post entitled, “Favorite Meal, Part 2 of 2” (Look at the date of her post and you will see how far behind I am). I suggest you read it in full, it’s a lovely story about her childhood. What particularly struck me the most was this:

He asks about our week, apologizes again for working so late all the time. We don’t mind, not tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll play quietly inside or go to a friend’s house, so he can sleep.

It reminded me of an assignment I did for my feature writing class in university, circa 2011. While it is primarily a travel article, you will see how it is connected to Casey’s blog post in the end.

I believe that travelling isn’t all about the destination; it is also about the journey, and the people we journey with. Cliché, I know, but it’s true, and every time I travel I appreciate it more and more.

Because my parents are both Bicolanos and most of our relatives still live in that province, we always take time to visit them on an average of three times a year. My parents think it’s impractical for 5 people plus 1 dog to take a 50-minute flight and spending at least Php 10,000 (~200 USD). Instead, we travel by land, specifically on a trusty SUV suitable for driving off-road, going to high terrains. Even though this means my parents have to bear with three pseudo ADHD-afflicted “children” (I was 17 years old when this happened) from raising hell. Here are some sample scenarios:

  • “Mom, the leather seats are too hot!”;
  • “Mom, I can’t feel the cold coming from the air conditioner!”; or,
  • “Oh my god, Kuya (“big brother” in Filipino) is going to puke, somebody pass him a plastic bag before he throws up on me!

Also, because we usually travel on days when all the other Filipinos are also going home to their respective provinces, my parents always plan to leave as early as midnight. In reality, though, we leave at four or five o’ clock in the morning.

However, last Christmas, though we left at the usual time, we had to go back simply because Mom forgot her false teeth (as embarrassed I am to actually share this with anyone, I’m honestly including this for the grade–and now, for page views). No, it wasn’t my mom who persuaded my dad to turn back and return home for her false teeth, it was actually my dad who insisted. “You don’t spend Php 50, 000 on false teeth that you’ll only forget to bring. Of course you have to show them off to your family,” my dad argued. Since he was behind the wheel, and the rest of us were too sleepy to object, we drove 30 minutes back home before driving one-and-a-half hours back to the South Luzon Expressway along with other Filipino families going south of the country. It was obvious we were already late: for several years we had had our breakfast in what I think is the only Jollibee branch in Gumaca, Quezon. This time, though, we had breakfast in one of the Jollibee stores along the expressway. Amidst the teasing that our relatives, who we consider veterans in road trips, will award our current travel as the one with the latest departure yet, I couldn’t help but think how long we are going to be on the road.

I believe that there are three clocks in this world:

  1. The biological clock, which tells our body if it’s time to sleep, wake up, or eat;
  2. The physical clock, which is the actual time we set in our watches, mobile phones, computers, etc.; and,
  3. The emotional clock, which doesn’t tell the actual time, only for how long whatever we’re going through is currently happening.

The third clock is usually dictated by how we feel, like, “The movie is finish already? It felt like we only sat down to the trailers showing a few minutes ago!” or, “This is only a one-and-a-half hour class, right? Why do I feel like I’ve been sitting here listening to the teacher for almost the entire day?” or, “Are we there yet? We’ve been inside this stupid SUV for hours. My butt hurts, I’m smelly, and my dog hasn’t taken a leak yet!” which is exactly what I said once I woke up from my post-breakfast sleep. I dozed off wishing that when I come to, we’ll be halfway to Camarines Sur already, but alas, when I looked out the window five hours later I saw a sign that says, “Pagbilao, Quezon.” We haven’t even gone past the town of Gumaca. Dad was already looking for a place to eat lunch at.

We came upon this restaurant/mini-zoo/resort called Palay Isdaan, which was still in Pagbilao. The place was very Filipino, with cottages (some floating on a huge pond, some placed beside caged animals) seating customers. There were also caged animals–two tigers, one wildcat, some snakes of different kinds, and monkeys–scattered all over the place. My youngest brother who walked around said there were crocodiles on the other side of the area, but I was too hungry to explore. We took a cottage right in front of a huge cage that was divided into three containers with one tiger each in the first two, and the wildcat in the other. Because the restaurant is an open space, I brought my dog, Vera, along with us to the cottage. But when she saw the large cats, her canine instincts kicked in and barked furiously at them.

Vera, my 7-lb. ball of fluff. 2013.

It was quite horrifying to see a tiny 7-lb. ball of fluff that’s known for being cute and cuddly bark at animals that could probably sees her as a bite-size treat, but I can’t help but be amused at my dog’s ignorance. However, the amusement turned to annoyance when our food came and I realized I couldn’t eat properly without keeping her from barking and disturbing the other customers. In the end I ate half of my share and gave the other half to Vera just to keep her quiet. We immediately paid the bill after eating and left for the road again, but I slept long enough in the morning that I was much too awake by then. This was when I realized how long the rest of the trip will last since there will be no more long stopovers for us, except for restroom breaks and water and snack refills.

Sensing the doom and gloom of this remaining part of the trip, I tried to look outside the window to try appreciating the scenery, but there was nothing to appreciate. For several hours we either drove by untamed jungles in Bitukang Manok (trans. “Chicken intestine,” because of the curves along the road), which is also known as Quezon National Highway. We also passed by shacks that all look the same you would think you got cursed and have driven in circles. We also saw people walking under the sun, people fighting under the sun, children recklessly running across the road. There were also vehicles that got into accidents (which were usually close to “Accident Prone Area” road signs, very ironic), and poorly maintained buildings in their town centrals. I started to doubt my life-long belief that the Philippines is a beautiful country upon seeing these things, and came to an early conclusion that most Filipinos go on road trips across the country not because there are many things to see, but because it’s a cheaper way to travel. (Author’s note: I have forgotten about this “conclusion,”  and I still think that the Philippines, my Philippines, is a beautiful country. Its gems are hidden, though, but they are worth finding.)

My dad’s voice snapped me out of my reverie. “So, what have you kids been up to?” he asked. At first, I found the question ridiculous. He’s our dad; he should be updated about whatever’s been keeping me and my brothers busy. Then I remembered that my dad’s job requires him to be often away from us, only letting him see us on some weekends and special occasions. I also remembered that the last time we had our family road trip was…I actually couldn’t remember.

As we started telling stories about our own adventures, I dismissed my earlier thought about road trips. The reason my parents insist on this mundane-looking activity is for us to catch up on each other’s lives. Even though we still live in one roof, we always stay in our own rooms and do our own stuff. Even though we all have mobile phones, we only text when we need something from our parents or when we want to be picked up somewhere. Being stuck together in one car for one whole day allows us to be a family again.

I’m looking forward to our next road trip. And when that happens, I’ll ask Dad to not hurry. There is so much I have to tell.

An Obligatory New Year’s Post

It’s time once again (though I’m a bit late already) to reevaluate what I have done in 2014 and plan what I want to accomplish this year.

To be honest, I cannot remember my resolution last year. I think it was “to make 2014 my best year ever,” because that didn’t really happen. I’m sorry, guys, but last year was a bust for me.

For the first time in a long time I welcomed 2014 with so much optimism and hopes for a great year. Of course, I even did my best to make it work. Unfortunately,  these things happened:

  1. This person whom I thought was one of my two best friends ruined my trust (and stole almost all of my life savings!);
  2. I did not get to see my SO, not because he doesn’t want to but because of outside forces (my parents, the person I’m referring to in #1, my SO’s school, to mention a few); and,
  3. When I changed jobs, I (in hindsight) seem to have jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire. Oh well, #noregrets.

(Hm…I thought I have more things to complain about, but it looks like these three cost me so much stress and anxiety I felt the world’s weight on my shoulders.)

I know this is not an ideal new year’s post. I know we’re supposed to write about something nice, something filled with hopes and dreams, something made of unicorns and rainbows, but I have to be honest with everyone and with myself. If I denied what happened, I wouldn’t have learned a couple of lessons, like–

If I want to get something done, I have to do it myself. Too many people have disappointed me by promising me things they cannot give, so I must rely on myself more;


I must remember the Serenity Prayer by heart. This may be a little religious, but I believe that the message this short prayer brings applies to everyone.

As for 2015, I plan to go through it still with a little optimism, but I also want to be more cautious. Last year my belief that I was so lucky (I was trying to practice what I read from “The Secret”) led me to making reckless decisions and mistakes that I could have easily avoided. So no more of that in 2015. Aside from that, I have also made the following goals:

  1. Learn to be more passive. I have a strong personality, which got me in trouble at work a few times. While I can already control this part, I am still too transparent that everyone can see if I’m happy or upset about something. According to my co-worker, one way to be more passive is to “smile like an idiot” no matter what. She also advised me to write down stuff I want to say while I am emotional, and then either trash it or edit it so that I can communicate what I want to say in a calm and rational manner.
  2. Spend less on what I want and more on what I need. Even though this is obvious, last year I spent more on gadgets that I don’t really need instead of things that are important. Last month alone, I bought this pair of headphones (only because it’s pink) that costs around $100 when I could have used that same amount of money to buy new clothes or shoes for work. This year, I will change this so that I would look more professional at work or, as my dad says, “presentable” when I go out.
  3. Lose 52 lbs. this year, or 1 lb. each week. I have been trying to lose weight for several years now, but I kept failing because I aimed too high and then quit when I got discouraged from trying and failing. Just like when learning a new habit, I believe that losing weight (and maintaining it) needs to be done slowly, deliberately, and consistently. This way, it will be easier for me to accomplish my goal, and if ever I fall off track it will also be easy for me to get back up. With this in mind, I will also continue going through the “7 Baby Steps To Losing Weight” I posted a while back. Right now I am in step 3, controlling my portions, which happens to be one of my biggest obstacles to consistently lose weight.
  4. Keep A Mozzarella Orange active. You may have noticed that I didn’t post here regularly last year. To be honest, I lost the will to write. The stress I got from work every day and my perfectionism hindered me from thinking of something–not even something good. I came home every day too tired to come up with anything. To be honest, I still experience it too. However,  I need to develop self-discipline, and I believe that blogging will help me in this department. I’ll just publish one post a week, a quick win like this, and I know I can do anything I set my mind to.

If you set resolutions for yourself as well, good luck, and I hope to see what you come up with (or run into) in the days ahead!

A Mozzarella Orange: Nelle’s Writing Space

This should have been my first blog post. But just like the reason I did not put up an “About” page (yet), I never thought it was important because I did not think anyone would care. However, after publishing a few blog posts and gaining a few followers, I figured now is the right time to introduce myself a second time (the first one was explaining why I am blogging again).

Who’s Nelle?

It’s me. Nelle is the name I have answered to since my friends in college found out my first name. It is the name that my co-workers call me when they need something. It is the name that Jacob calls me when we are having a serious conversation. It is not the name that my parents call me when I am in trouble.

My writing space

This blog is my haven. It is a place for me to express my thoughts without being interrupted. When I get upset or flustered I tend to mumble, talk too fast, or choke on my words that the person I’m talking to could not understand a thing I say. With writing, I can complete what I want to say and be able to edit it before showing it to my reader–no mumbling or talking too fast. I still need to work on being more descriptive since I tend to be short on words sometimes.

Unlike other bloggers here who say that writing is their passion, to me writing is a chore. It is a daily exercise that I must do so I could learn to express myself better.

Even though I publish a new post every other week or so, I actually write every day–or at least I try to. I am just slow at outlining ideas and constructing them into an actual piece, and on some days I chose to sleep early instead of staying awake for at least 30 minutes to write. While I aim to publish around once a week, life won’t let me do that at the moment.

Why “A Mozzarella Orange”?

I’m saving the best question for last. A Mozzarella Orange is just an anagram of my name, though the phrase itself always makes me hungry for anything with cheese. I am having a hard time picturing its color though.

It’s your turn: what comes to your mind when you hear the phrase “a mozzarella orange”? What color do you think it actually is?

What I Learned From Joining Writing 101

The Writing 101 workshop is over, and even though it was fun and I met interesting bloggers there, I felt like I wasted an opportunity to actually build a writing habit. However, just like with any experience, there are still lessons from this, so I took some time to reflect on what I learned and I’m sharing them with you:

1. I don’t have time to write every day.

Writing is like a chicken-and-egg situation: you have to live your life and be inspired by the outside world to find something to write about, and you also have to find time to write to share what you experienced or what you are thinking of. One of my problems lies in finding time–I do not have enough in one day for everything I need and want to do. I spend almost three-fourths of my day working. When I get home, I usually just go straight to bed. Sometimes I drink coffee to keep myself awake enough to write something, but caffeine can only do so much. When the body needs to rest, it will rest.

2. I can be quite impatient with my writing.

When I was doing one of the assignments, which involved writing a story in three different points of view, I ended up not publishing it. At first, I had a clear idea of what I want it to be about. However, as I started writing the details leading up to the main idea, I started doubting myself. I thought it wasn’t good enough, then thought of another idea, so I scrapped what I wrote and redid everything. I did this around 3 to 4 times until I got bored.

It seems that once I have a main idea for my writing, I want to head straight to it and forget about the supporting details. This post is actually another example: I had an easy time writing exactly what I learned from joining the workshop, but when I had to expound on them, I had to fight myself into staying focused on the details.

3. I can’t write something that does not have anything to do with me.

I find this observation very disturbing. While I was doing the same said assignment and the one about the most interesting person I met this year (which I did not publish as well), I had a really difficult time outlining what I wanted to write. Aside from being impatient with creating a vivid description about the person who was not me, I also got bored with it. Am I a narcissist, or have I just not done enough to explore the world outside of myself and my ego? Or maybe it’s both?

Where do I go from here?

Of course, after learning more about myself, I have to do something about these “weaknesses” if I want to bring back my passion for writing. While I have some ideas on what to do, I’m not sharing them yet. Consider this the first part of a series of posts.

What is one thing you learned about yourself when you joined Writing 101 or (if you didn’t join the workshop) since you started blogging?

Unlocking the Mind

NOTE: This is an exercise for the Writing  101 workshop.

Even though this should be the first exercise, I’m making this my second. I find that free writing for me is easier than having to write about prompts given. I actually tried to write a story that has three points of view but I still need to work on my storytelling and I was too tired to even get past the first paragraph, so I decided to do that challenge later.

Today I was thinking about my plans for this blog. Or rather, what I am going to write about. But because my mind always wanders into the endless possibilities of topics to post, I decided to list down (in my head) what I am NOT going to write about:

  1. Work. Aside from the legal implications that writing about my current employment might somehow get me in trouble later, I also figured that talking about work is pretty boring, even my wonderful SO, who usually listens to whatever story I tell him no matter how lame they were, expressed disinterest in it. He even asked me to stop thinking about work too much, which I think is also an implication that I should stop talking about it.
  2. My SO. It is no secret that I am in love. Everyone, from my family and distant relatives to my real and Facebook friends, I have been head-over-heels in love with an amazing man for over nine months now. However, I am not too comfortable about sharing our relationship to the public too much, so I may only write about him (or us) when something exciting has happened, or when it is for a prompt that can be related to me and my SO.

The Three Most Important Songs In My Life

NOTE: This is a post written as an exercise for the Writing 101 workshop.

First of all, I am late to the party…again. Writing 101 started last Monday and here I am writing my first post–task #3–on a Wednesday. I have yet to do task #’s 1 and 2.

Today’s task is about sharing the three most important songs in my life but at the same time I also have to write freely. Well, nothing makes me clam up more than having to write something about my song choices AND having to just write–no editing, no re-reading the past sentences once written, only writing.  Which is very hard, since I made it a habit to first edit what I want to write in my head and then edit them again as I write them down (or type them out rather). It will be a while before I get used to this free writing thing.

As for my three most important songs, well, I don’t really have any. Music has never been that important to me, except when I some sounds to fill the room. I pretty much enjoy almost every kind of music, and I am never a snob towards any genre. The only time I pay more attention to the songs, though, is when I am in love. It’s a good thing then that I am in love now or else I will have nothing to write about. So here are the three most important songs in my life since I met Jacob, my significant other:

Live and Die by The Avett Brothers

This is the first song that Jacob asked me to listen to because it reminded him of me when he heard it:

And I want to love you and more

I want to find you and more

Where do you reside?

When you hide, how can I find you?

– Live and Die by The Avett Brothers

We weren’t an official couple yet back then, buuut he had already admitted to me that he likes me. I, on the other hand, being a coward, held back my feelings and did not confess that I like him back when in fact I did. Still, I knew that he knew how I felt for him.

Make You Feel My Love by Adele

A song that still makes me tear up whenever I hear it, Jacob asked me to listen to this a few months into our relationship.

I know you haven’t made your mind up yet

But I will never do you wrong.

I’ve known it from the moment that we met

No doubt in my mind where you belong.

– Make You Feel My Love by Adele

I love that particular stanza because it encapsulates exactly what my SO feels about me–about us. Even though we haven’t been together for so long, we have gone through several major hardships that either strengthen or break a relationship, we committed to ourselves and to each other to make this work and to communicate as often and as effectively as we can. I am so happy to find someone who actually wants me, who is happy to give me 100% of his attention, and who treats me the way I have always wanted to be treated–like I am special, like I am the most beautiful girl in the world even when I am obviously not. Feeling his love even from far away makes me want to love him back more and more.

Forever by Ben Harper

Which brings me to the song I dedicate to Jacob. I may have been afraid in the beginning.

So give me your forever

Please your forever

Not a day less will do

From you.

– Forever by Ben Harper

I have been hurt so often for falling in love too fast, for getting attached too quickly, and for being too naïve about love. Not only did I find my ideal man in him, but he also inspired me to be the ideal partner. Everyday I learn to love myself and be my best. He supports me and cheers me on in everything I do, whether it’s my goal to lose weight (or to be healthy, since he claims I do not need to lose weight at all), to work on my career, or anything I think of wanting to do, and I do the same for him. Not only is Jacob my boyfriend, but he is also my best friend. I trust him more than I trust anyone. He knows my craziest dreams and my worst fears, he knows when I am about to cry or when I am starting to get mad, and he knows how to calm me down or confront me when I am acting like a bitch.

Off-Topic: My commitment to writing

Aside from sharing my three most important songs, today’s writing exercise also wants me to commit to a writing practice.

When I decided to join the Writing 101 workshop, I have already made a commitment to write everyday to keep up with the assigned tasks and then once a week when the workshop is over. I also planned to spend at least 30 minutes to writing, but I think it’s not enough. I will work my way to finding the right amount of time I could dedicate to blogging, but for now I guess 30 minutes, or until I finish writing a post, will do.